To begin 

Wild Flower

 

Excerpt from a zine I made in 2016 after a summer that changed my life. I realized I had to return home to myself. This is what I wrote:

 “Last year, my second summer tree planting before or as I began my path of separation from wildest nature I remember I drew this flower. I had been at this point quite disconnected from people mostly in silence from others but equally from myself. This flower however was powerful. I drew with a lot of passion a lot of desperate energy that so badly wanted to come out and stop being exhausted towards recovering from being mistreated. I distracted myself from the pain into this drawing that brought me strength . I could feel it coming from a deep place within me. It held a lot of emotion, a lot of character. I called this flower the Wild Flower.  My intuition screamed this name to me and it came down on paper. I admired this flower. It represented abilities to maintain strength through difficult times, to stand strong, to blossom out in as many ways desired, to grow freely to dance in the wind, take in all the fresh air, stand tall and take up space and also to be independent. This flower stuck with me. Looking back it was my first introduction to the power of the Wild Woman within this was a message from her. I was able to translate by pen. It was a time of deep disconnect and imbalances where I was disregarding my instincts and accustomed to violence. To this day my go to drawing is always the wild flower that throughout all my time over looking all the bad decommissioned from my feminine instincts, my creativity, my voice, my passions. I found inspiration in every flower I drew, every flower I drew would remind me of courage, make me dream and think of the larger life I want to live. The Wild Flower is my symbol of freedom and finally I have been released and taking my life into my own hands. Thank you Wild Flower for being my escape during that time and for always sending me reminders of getting and being free. “

Its fascinating to re-read this 5 years later and to this day the wild flower is still my go to medicine for connecting to my strength and inner guidance. I am so glad I accepted her call to tune in and listen to draw her to paper and she would narrate guidance forward. I love Wild Flowers and feel at peace with Wild Flowers. They have been a source of my reconnection to my wild soul. They have helped me understand boundaries, and not letting people take or exploit from me. They have taught me the importance of trust, reciprocation, delicateness, gentleness, softness, and patience. They have a mysterious and intriguing super powers that show them selves when no one is looking or when you spend the time to develop connection and safety. They dance wildly and live ferociously. I admire the wild flowers. so much and I am so grateful for the impact they have had on my life looking back truly giving me the strenght to free myself from abuse and come back to myself. I am proud of the younger Joh Joh who worked so hard to break free and to get me to where I am today. I admire her so deeply and I do all I can to commit to keeping us safe and free and wild and I know we are protected with our flower sisters. Looking back this was definitely the initiation and breakthrough to me returning to myself and my sovereignty. 

Here is the original texts 06/21/16: